Welcome to Part 2 of Playing With The Facts.  This time we’re looking at some facts about The Miss America Pageant which John Oliver recently commented upon.  If you received the draft outline of this blog last week by mistake, I apologize.  I Learned a valuable lesson, set to audience to private while drafting so that if you inadvertently hit the publish button life remains unchanged.  If you saw my draft you know what I mean.  If you didn’t ignore what you just read and continue on. images

If you missed Part 1 Playing With The Facts: Ads and What We Eat click here.

When I was younger I don’t really remember going through a princess phase.  I definitely went through a castle and knight phase (still am truth be told), but I don’t recall wanting to be dressed in flowing gowns or be the damsel in distress (not that I was above wanting to be rescued) but the victim thing never sat well with me.

I liked pretty things, but my favourite colour was never pink.  I liked to “look like a girl” but I was just as happy if not happier being in grubby pants and a t-shirt making mud pies or having some wonderful adventure in the pastures and woods.  My tastes, style and interests like my life in general are, shall we say, eclectic.

I watched beauty pageants and while I recognized the text book beauty and talents, I never dreamed of walking the runway – maybe because I knew that I’d probably end up tripping and falling off of it anyway.

I’m one of those quirky folks who actually believes we’re all beautiful in our own way.  I choose to allow the definition of beautiful to be broad and encompassing rather than narrow and small.  I believe in equality – I have no problem with breastfeeding in public, women being topless in public, skimpy clothes – that should all be a personal choice.  I could write tomes on that subject alone.  What bothers me is the objectification, the judging, the double standards by both men and women.  What bothers me is how a woman’s physical attributes and sexuality are so unapologetically tied so directly to her success, her perceived value and self worth.

Whether overtly or covertly the message girls receive from the start is that how they look matters.  They learn early on that how they look determines outcomes, provides opportunities.

I watched the John Oliver video on the Miss America Pageant and suddenly it struck me that in this case, we legitimize objectification by offering scholarships.  In other words, we’re proving that beauty and brains go together.   We can say that they are actually helping women who may be discriminated against because they are beautiful.  The assumption might that they aren’t smart enough to go to university and the pageant challenges that assumption.   Now, I have a hard time arguing that is a bad thing; these young women are so much more than pretty faces and beautiful bodies.  There is nothing wrong with text book beautiful people.  But I feel these events result in narrowing the definition of beauty further, refining rather than expanding; excluding rather than embracing.

I realized that I shouldn’t be surprised that young women so often bare all for even the smallest hope of advancement in modelling, acting, or really in any career path.  We all know of those who have used their female attributes to succeed.  From the first pageant a young girl watches, they see that they can use their looks and bodies and hopefully their minds to go fabulous places.  It’s not about feeling liberated, or free to do what you want, it’s pressure to do so because that’s what you need to do to get what you want.  There’s a big difference. Donald Trump, owner of the pageant is quoted as saying to a female reporter (it’s on the video),

“Well obviously it’s great outer beauty.  We could be politically correct and say that the look doesn’t matter but it obviously matters.  Like you wouldn’t have your job if you weren’t beautiful.”

Alrighty then.  To which John Oliver comments,

“Right, because you need to see them in bathing suits because as we all know the intelligence portion of the brain is located somewhere on the upper thigh.”

Ok, by now you’re probably wondering how this ties into “Playing with the Facts – Part 1″   I suggested we needed to be savvy, critical thinkers and discerning.  The same applies to the pageant and the claims it makes.

This brings us back to the topic of scholarships for secondary education.   The Miss USA pageant can’t say enough about how many scholarships they make available annually – a whopping $45 million.  I mean, ok, how can I argue with someone that while they’re beautiful, they shouldn’t use that attribute to win a very cool experience and get an education paid for that might otherwise take years to pay off.

Now math was never my best subject, but even I have to question the ethics of how the pageant calculates that $45 million, and how much really gets paid out.  However, why would I bother to say more when I’ve already said enough.   John Oliver says it much better and more humourously than I ever could.  Even bad news is better doled out with the ability to smile.  So for your viewing enjoyment, John Oliver’s take on The Miss America Pageant and what it stands for.

So there you have it, simply playing with the facts a little bit and what a different story it tells.  Just a little playing with the facts lulls us into a sense of not only trust, but gratitude.  However,  the bottom line is the Miss America Pageant really give out only a fraction of the $45 million, that no matter what, they could never actually give out the $45 million and maybe saddest of all, that even at their lowest figure given, they are still actually the biggest single provider of scholarships for women only.

Yep, thems the facts peeps at least for now.

Want to make a difference?  John Oliver provides a list of other women’s only scholarship funds you can donate to if you want to change the fact that currently the biggest scholarship provider for women only scholarships “requires you to be unmarried, have a mint condition uterus and also rewards working knowledge of buttock adhesive technology.”

If anyone else know of scholarships for women only that can be donated to anywhere in the world please let me know.  I’d love to update the list. As you go about your day remember that it just might not hurt to be:

  • savvy
  • discerning
  • a critical thinker

©2014 Rise Like Air  J. Fries

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I’ve always been a kind of black and white person, looking for yes or no answers.  When I was in school I was interested only in how to get the answer, I thought anything else was a waste of my time.  I took a statistics class in University because it was a requirement for my degree path.  Later on I was responsible for creating statistical reports.  The biggest thing I learned, is that facts and statistics aren’t as concrete as most of us take for granted.  It is imperative to take facts and statistics in context.  A ridiculous example might go something like this.

100% of expulsions from Mountainside Academy were male.

Now if I asked you to comment on what that meant, you might say it shows that males are far more likely to get in trouble than females. Now, what if I told you that Mountainside Academy was an all boys school.  You might say it’s a useless statistic then because it’s obvious that is the only possible outcome, but it makes the statement no less factual. Think surveys are great ways to gather information?  They can be.  However, I also know that I can get 2 different answers just by changing the phrasing. No, I am not bashing facts or surveys or the wonderful people who spend countless hours putting interesting and valuable information together.  What I am saying, is be savvy, descerning, a critical thinker. Using the example above if I said that,

“Last year at Mountainside, an all boys school.  25% of the expulsions were female while 75% were male.”

Your comments this time might immediately be that this shows there must be an error because we now have all the information.  It’s an all boys school so we know there is a problem.  Except, we don’t have all the information and the statistic is correct.  In this example there were 4 expulsions.  3 were boys, but one was a girl, who had disguised herself so she could attend the prestigious school.  Alas, she was found out and expelled. Where is this all leading?  Here’s the thing.  We spend a lot of our time smiling and nodding “yes”.  Don’t feel bad, I do it too.

There is so much information around, so much to do, it’s information overload from the moment most of us wake up until we go to bed.  Who can blame us for wanting to trust what someone else tells us or what the television ad experts tell us over and over.  I mean, how can we keep up?  How can we dissect everything we hear or read to garner what’s really the facts? Truth is, I don’t have an answer for that.  If anyone does, well please share with all of the rest of us.  I’d really like to know.  All I do know is that I do the best I can, whenever I can.  I’m human.  That’s what I do.

Getting back to all the “experts” who “help” us make important decisions, like what to buy, what to eat, where to live, how and what to think; the advertisers who love to throw statistics and facts and jargon our way extolling either the virtues or detriment of something that ultimately furthers their ends even more than ours (if it even benefits us at all). I’m going to share an “expert” view with you.  This particular video is about advertising and making factory farming sound appealing.

Original video by Catsnake FilmFull disclosure: The speaker in this video is actually an actress named Kate Miles, but the facts about produce and its marketing are 100% real. The audience is also real, and thus the looks of disgust are totally real too. It’s all about playing with facts.

You may or may not agree with factory farming, but in this case that’s not really the point I’m driving at.  The advertising and playing with the facts principle can be applied anywhere to any topic.

The very “fact” that the “expert” is an “actress” says a lot doesn’t it?

Just depends on how you say it doesn’t it?

So be savvy.

Be discerning.

Be a critical thinker.

Stay Tuned for Part 2 of Playing With The Facts: Princesses and Beauty Queens

©2014 Rise Like Air  J. Fries Thanks for stopping by, we always appreciate it.

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riselikeair:

Companionship that keeps you afloat in the roughest seas.

Originally posted on Mad Man Knitting:

IMG_0492I’ve gotten quite a few emails about Mario. People want to know where she came from? Why is she so important to me? Why does she have a boy’s name?

When things started to collapse for me I was walking home from work one day. I found this little kitten stuck in a chain link fence. I could tell the poor thing had tried to move through it, gotten stuck, had been there long enough for a pile of poo to amass behind her. The cat had probably been eating whatever it could find crawling by its path to keep it fed. So, I knelt down, pulled a wine key out of my back pocket (I was a server, remember?) and twisted this way and that to loosen the chain link and let the cat free. I patted it on the head and said, “There you go, little one. Take…

View original 746 more words

Opportunity:  Noun – a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something.  – Google

This morning I posted a status to Facebook about a 17 year old Regina SK screaming talented drummer, Chris Dimas, who is having his dreams come true and going to school in Hollywood CA.  I prefaced the link with

The secret to making dreams come true – work, believe and open the door and say yes when opportunity knocks.”

And off I went about the business of my day.  Little did I know I would discover just how much I was really writing that to myself.  Funny how the universe works that way.

Rewind to a couple of summers ago out on a nature hike with family.  I was enthralled with all the beautiful mushrooms and other fungi along the path.  My imagination flitted between the mushrooms and the fairies that must obviously be quietly hiding there.  Immediately themes and children’s stories and poems floated aimlessly through my mind; a possible book in the making.  I remember sighing heavily because I had left my camera in the car.

Fast forward to later this summer.  Life has been very busy.  Did I mention like really very busy?  We’ve had strange weather this year, like most of the world it seems.  One of the anomalies was the immense number of beautiful fungi growing literally everywhere.  I enjoyed taking many pictures.  Early on I remembered my past missed opportunity and thought about pulling out my daughters fairy collection and using them to stage numerous shots that could be used to illustrate the stories and poems that still floated in my head but hadn’t made it to paper yet.  Opportunity was now knocking once more. I opened the door and welcomed Opportunity in.  “Hey, great to see you! Come in!  I’ll be right with you, introduce you around…. just hang on one minute.  Make yourself at home, I’ll be right back.”   That’s what I said.

Every walk I thought about it and reminded myself that yes, I must go do that, soon.   Pause: this morning.  I went for an early walk.

Part of my daily routine has been trying to ensure I work in some fitness activities.  So, this morning after a quick tea I went for my walk.  All my major responsibilities were done, I could afford to do “my” things today, at least for awhile.  I knew where the fairies were.  I was going to scope out where I’d take my shots, lock up my all too friendly and “helpful” canine companions and do it!  Finally, I mean it’s even still sunny and warm!

image from wallpaperbrands.net

So out I go.  “Hey, Opportunity!  Sorry I just had to… um… Opportunity?”

But Opportunity became tired of waiting, felt like a third wheel, unappreciated and unimportant; so Opportunity smiled a kind of sad smile, silently turned and left, softly closing the door.

I had a lovely walk, the leaves of beautiful yellows, golds, browns and reds interspersed with the last of green.  The light dappling beautifully on the path, and not one fungi left in its glory.  Hardly any are left at all.

I believed.  I had opened the door.

Then like a selfish hostess, I left Opportunity waiting in the porch with no consideration because the visit didn’t occur at a perfectly convenient time.

I didn’t do the work.  I didn’t say, “Yes.”

I can say how busy I was and am, but the truth is, Opportunity knocked and even with all the experience I have, I still didn’t say, “Yes.”  I said, “Wait a minute.”  And you know Opportunity did.  Opportunity patiently waited a few weeks in fact.  Opportunity does not have unlimited patience.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like Work.” – Thomas A. Edison

I’ll never know quite how neglecting Opportunity will change what might have been.  I believe it’s all good, things all happen for a reason.  I’m okay with it.  But I do wonder, if I’d taken the time to take those shots, what and where might they have lead to?

I’m grateful that Opportunity is forgiving and generous though.  While this door closed, I know Opportunity will visit again, maybe knocking at a different door, or arriving through a window.   Next time, I’ll remember how to treat a guest.

Our lives are defined by opportunities.  Even the ones we miss.  F. Scott Fitzgerald

©2014 Rise Like Air  J. Fries

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riselikeair:

I don’t think I could call someone who took the time to help me a bum but a gentleman. In this case it wasn’t gentlemen (or women) wearing the suits. We make plenty of assumptions about people… in this case I would guess most people would have assumed the suits would have been the caring ones. Challenge those assumptions, every single day.

Originally posted on Gotta Find a Home::

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wheel

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22 September 2014

“Good morning, Chuck. How was the wedding? Did you go?”

“Yes I went and I had a great time. Mind you, my sisters ex husband wasn’t treated so well. Everybody likes my sister, but nobody likes his new wife. She’s just one of those people who it’s hard to like. I don’t have anything against her. We all have shitty ass holes, and we all wipe them the same way. Nobody’s better than anybody else. I’ve tried to like her, She’s just an unlikable person.

“There were a lot of attractive women there. If I had been six years younger, before my heart attacks, I would have gotten some action. At one wedding – I can’t remember which one, we have such a big family – I’d gone out for a smoke. It was before they had the laws against smoking in public buildings, but…

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riselikeair:

Eyes wide open. Lessons on the path of life. The choices we make from small to life changing. Life affirming to life destructing and back again.

Originally posted on Gotta Find a Home::

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wheel

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17 September 2014

While on my usual bus to work I noticed a woman with familiar face, walking with a cane. It took a few minutes to remember her name. Then I said, “Hi Chili!”

“Hi Dennis, I didn’t know you lived around here. I live with my boyfriend Spike, just a block from here. It’s handy to the methadone clinic and to school.”

I said, “You’re walking much better. The last time we met you were using a walker.”

“Yeah, I still use a walker sometimes. My surgery is coming up soon, so hopefully after that I’ll be able to walk on my own. I have osteomyelitis that caused a bone abscess. It needs to be opened, washed out, and drained. I may need a bone graft.

“This is my stop. It was nice seeing you, Dennis.”

“Bye, Chili.”

I arrived downtown and met Chuck. “Good morning, Dennis.”

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riselikeair:

Positive, solution led journalism. I love love love that concept. Thank you Debbie for being one of the supporters and leaders in that endeavour. Thanks for sharing such great resources and stories.

Originally posted on It's All Good Radio Show:

Dont Stop The Music James and kidsI can’t wait to watch the second part of the series Don’t Stop The Musicon Channel 4 tonight, the excellent programme presented by passionate international pianist James Rhodes who is doing all he can to bring more music into schools and to give each child the opportunity to experience playing an instrument for themselves.

At the same time as the series airs, a website and a partnership with Oxfam and Yodel will make it possible for the public to donate their unwanted instruments and get them to the schools in need.

To me this is a fantastic example of the power of television of making us aware of an issue and then providing a clear and simple way that us viewers can all individually play our part in creating the solution.

So why can’t we see more of this type of programming for what has been termed as the “biggest challenge of our times” – that of finding and supporting…

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"flat bread" credit: JFries

“flat bread”
credit: JFries

I tend to be one of those people who harp about “staying present in the moment”.  I learned a valuable lesson the other day; that getting too caught up in the moment isn’t quite the same as staying present.  As a matter of fact, it can prevent you from seeing the forest for the trees. At least that’s what happened to me.

Yesterday my daughter and I were heading home during rush hour. Considering we had road construction to deal with things were going very smoothly.  We had just finished going through that section, returning to speed. We were following a slow moving gravel truck which moved over to the right lane allowing us to pass. We were going by the next on ramp, just beginning to pull past the truck’s rear bumper, when a car entered the highway behind the truck and immediately proceeded to pass, moving into the passing lane. Except that’s exactly where I was, in plain sight still.

I evaded by swerving left. Time didn’t stand still, my life didn’t flash before my eyes. Everything became crystal clear and only 2 thoughts really crossed mind as I strove not to lose control on the soft shoulder. “Don’t roll”, and “Not my kid you a–hole”. Luckily the truck driver also saw what was happening. He veered right allowing the car to actually pass between us, at which point the car sped off at incredible speed. I thanked my lucky stars and we continued on our way home, thankful that we were safe and in one piece.Yet, I admit that I was quite focused on my anger at the “other” driver. I self righteously expounded the importance of defensive driving skills, pointed out the dangers of distractions and assumptions.

Later, I asked my husband to unload the dog food we’d bought since the dogs were giving me that “it’s chow time” look. Upon bringing in the dog food he also presented me with the three loaves of bread I’d purchased. Our near miss had resulted in casualties after all. The bag of dog food had slid off the backseat and onto the box of bread, crushing it. Suddenly my anger at the other driver spilled over again. Not only had he almost caused an accident, potentially killing us, he had ruined my bread! I was just about to go on about his irresponsibility when I suddenly got it. I saw the forest and the trees.

The bread took on new meaning. I looked at it and realized that could’ve been us. We could’ve been the ones laying on the ground flattened. It was only bread, we came home. I could buy or bake more bread. I had become so caught up in the emotion of the moment. I had thought I was staying present, but really I was only present in my anger and only aware of a minute fraction of my situation.

In that instant I was able to see beautiful and feel extreme gratitude. I was thankful we’d already dropped off my parents.  I don’t know if I’d been able to see or react as quickly if I’d had a car full of people. I no longer held ill will towards the other driver I was only grateful that everyone had arrived home unscathed. Instead of blaming and judging, I allowed myself to feel real compassion, for everyone involved including myself. Lapses happen, to others and even to me. It could have been so much worse but it wasn’t. Instead I had an opportunity to learn and to grow; an opportunity to see beautiful. Those are rise like air moments.

In truth, the bread isn’t even ruined, just flat. It’s perfectly good for bread crumbs, just not sandwiches. That’s ok. After all, Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner and I guess I’ll be making the stuffing.

©2014 Rise Like Air  J. Fries

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image from sodahead.com

image from sodahead.com

Overheard in a restaurant:

Little Girl:  “I hate boys.”

Mother: “Well, boys can be fun to play with sometimes.”

Little Girl:  “No!  Well, I don’t like Jacob*.  He’s mean.”

Mother:  “He’s not mean.”

Little Girl:  “Yes, he is mean.  He is mean to me.” 

Mother:  “Jacob is a nice boy, he’s not mean.”

Little Girl:  “He’s mean.  He throws stuff.  And I don’t like it.”

Mother:  “Oh, well make sure you don’t throw stuff back ok.  Because that isn’t nice.”

And the conversation moved to another subject.  Discussion finished.  But what underlying message did mom really leave with her daughter?   “Oh my”, I thought.

All right, first I do want to say that this was not a rotten mother, I hold no ill will and am not shaming her and truthfully the interactions I witnessed between mother and daughter were loving, touching and I think she’s probably a great mom. Being a mother myself and having struggled for a lot of years trying to craft my own thoughts and messages to my daughter, this conversation struck me as a perfect example of what is missing in how we talk to our children, especially our daughters.  I’ll get to that in a minute.

I’ve never bought into the belief that girls are wired to be catty and mean any more than I believe boys are wired not to cry, or to never hit the laundry basket.  I’ve begun to wonder if it may be in part because of the mixed message we have given girls for generations.

Back to my eavesdropping.  (I’m sorry, the restaurant was really quiet, the little girl was quite loud and our elbows were almost touching… and I had nothing to distract myself with.)   Let’s dissect the conversation

Little Girl:  “I hate boys.”

Typical of children especially, it’s that all or nothing attitude.  I hate all boys.

Mother: “Well, boys can be fun to play with sometimes.”

Well done!  A great attempt to help her daughter open her mind and engage in discussion.  I agree that boys, in general, can sometimes be fun to play with.  The message?  Consider the bigger picture, avoid the all or nothing assumptions.  Let’s talk about this.  Sometimes is a pretty good word.

Little Girl:  “No, well I don’t like Jacob*.  He’s mean.”

The message got through, the little girl decides it’s not “boys” but one “boy” in particular.

Mother:  “He’s not mean.”

Here’s where mom got my cringe response going.  There was no open dialogue, the message I heard clearly is “you are wrong”  An open ended question like “what happened” or engaging her with “tell me more about Jacob being mean” is more likely to uncover and hidden worries or feelings that are beneath a blanket statement.

Little Girl:  “Yes, he is mean.  He is mean to me.”  

Undeterred, she was determined to make her case, be heard and listened to.  This is obviously important to her.  Bravo!

Mother:  “Jacob is a nice boy, he’s not mean.”

Mom undermines her daughter’s opinion and by doing so gives the message, “your opinion and how you feel don’t matter”.  She might have helped the conversation by affirming her feelings, “You don’t sound happy about playing with Jacob.”

Little Girl:  “He’s mean.  He throws stuff.  And I don’t like it.”

Undaunted the little girl offers her proof of why Jacob is mean and she doesn’t like him.

Mother:  “Oh, well make sure you don’t throw stuff back ok.  Because that isn’t nice.”

Mom might have had more luck in getting to the real issue by reflecting what her daughter was trying to tell her.  “So, Jacob has been throwing things.  I can see why you were annoyed.  Was Jacob angry?”  Finally she could have summarized the situation to let her daughter know she understood.  “You aren’t happy playing with Jacob when he’s throwing things.  But if he stopped throwing things, it might be fun?”  This way a child knows she’s at least heard and understood even if there isn’t a simple solution available.

Not sure what to do, I think the mother tried to brush it off, the “mean” event maybe wasn’t such a big deal really.  But it was to her daughter.  The underlying message I heard was, “People are sometimes like that, it’s just the way it is, but be nice anyway; perceptions of others are more important than how you feel and you are powerless to change it.”  I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the message mom intended to give at all.

The important thing about underlying messages is that they are never spelled out.  Sometimes they even aren’t intended, but what we say and what is heard are often different, especially by children who don’t have the wisdom and experience of adults.  Children love to tell us about their lives, they also come to us for help in learning to navigate that life.  This is the time where the real life lessons occur, helping them navigate all the interactions they will have over their lifetime.

And here is the crux of the problem in my opinion.  We are still giving girls the incomplete message of “just be nice”.

I am all for being nice.  This whole Rise Like Air thing is about finding our greatness, being kind, overcoming adversity, helping ourselves and others. 

We need to teach our children to be nice, but so much more than that. The challenge we face as parents and educators is to help children be nice, but at the same time to utilize the skills they need to be function with others in the world.  Nice is only one facet and as parents with girls we focus on it almost solely.  Somewhere deep down I think we still believe a husband or father will always be there to take care of our little girl.  I’ll let you in on a little secret, even if you’re there, they still need to be able to take care of themselves; period.  It is our job, our duty to ensure they have the skills, and we are falling short; way short.

Our children need the skills to be able to be nice without fearing being walked on and stepped over.  Remember the saying, “Nice guys finish last?”  It doesn’t need to be that way, it shouldn’t be that way. 

We need to give our children the skills then need to socialize well and we do a very poor job of it because so often when our little children come to us with problems like this our first response is “just be nice” like that will just make it go away.  We need to teach our children how to be nice while at the same time standing up for themselves and their beliefs, we need to help them learn how to be nice while still dealing with the Jacobs.  

I think girls often end up meaner and cattier because they don’t know how to do the other things while being nice.  So they ensure the perfect facade is in place; look pretty, smile, be nice, always appear innocent and then do whatever you need to do to survive in the real world, but never get caught without your facade in place.  

And you know what?  Sometimes being nice means walking away from those who aren’t, it means being true to ourselves and letting those who don’t value us go.  

One thing I do know is that if you continually undermine a child’s opinion long enough, eventually they will either stop sharing it with you or they will begin to believe they are wrong, their feelings don’t count and that they are unable to change their circumstances.  We wonder why children stop talking to us.  To a degree it’s a natural step in the gaining independence process, but it can also be an indicator that communication has gone awry.

 I have found girls and women who have high self esteem tend to be nice, strong, confident and very successful at navigating life and relationships without meanness or cattiness.  The girls and women who tend to be catty and mean may appear to be the nicest of the nice on the surface and have the world by the tail, but behind the facade you will often find a woman who is terrified of making a wrong move and feels like a victim of her own life.

Ultimately I think a parent wants their children, regardless of gender, to grow up to possess many positive traits including but not limited to:

  • kindness
  • joyfulness in life
  • resilience
  • self-discipline
  • honesty
  • bravery
  • confidence

Developing those traits starts early and it starts with the messages we give both with what we say and what we don’t say.

Here’s some tips on actively listening to your children (and even adults!) from Alberta Health Services

  1. Ask open ended questions
  2. Use reflective listening
  3. Affirm your child’s feelings
  4. Summarize what you’ve heard

* Names have been changed to protect their identity. (Truth be told I missed the boy’s name so who knows if I’m right or wrong.)

Further reading:

Huffington Post: by Hilary Wilce  6 Qualities Kids Need To Succeed and One They Don’t

How To Listen Actively To Your Children from Alberta Heath Services

How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk

©2014 Rise Like Air  J. Fries

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riselikeair:

This describes the cycle of procrastination and depression very well. One of the biggest challenges is to have the energy and motivation to actually do what you need to do when a person’s depressed. This gives realistic tips to break the cycle enabling one to come up for air once more.

Originally posted on Dr Nicholas Jenner PsyD MA:

Procrastination can be defined as that invisible wall in front of you, stopping you moving on and using effective methods for beating depressive thinking. Incredibly, in 2010, the APA, in its annual Stress in America report, failed to identify procrastination as a major factor in why people do not follow through on programs designed to beat stress and pressure. This is even more incredible when survey participants recognised a lack of willpower in healthy lifestyle changes. Most said that this willpower was diminished due to lack of energy and confidence and once one was increased, the other increased too. I think you can see the pattern. In this post, I would like to show that depression and procrastination go hand in hand and need to be tackled simultaneously.

What is procrastination ?

Business people define procrastination as the delaying of deadlines. However, a more serious form is the putting off of personally relevant activities for change…

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